A mum has turned to the internet for advice about her brother’s wedding after the maid of honour made a shocking request of her 12-year-old daughter
And it’s not just the bride and groom that often incur costs, the wedding party might chip in here and there, for gifts and parties – like the hen do.
However it’s normally only the adults that hand over their money, as they’re the ones who earn it.
But one maid of honour seems to have gotten a little carried away with the planning for her best friend’s wedding and ended up requesting a 12-year-old bridesmaid help fund a bridal shower and the bachelorette party.
The junior bridesmaid’s mum took to Reddit to reveal the issue and seek some advice.
The parent, who is the sister of the groom, is also involved in the wedding as a bridesmaid.
She claims in her post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum, that the maid of honour asked all of the bridesmaids to contribute towards the cost of parties, with the total coming to £466 each.
Her request included the 12-year-old daughter, so the mum was asked to pay over £900 in total for both of them.
In her post she wrote: “AITA for thinking my 12 year old shouldn’t be financially responsible to help pay for a bridal shower she is in?
“My younger brother is getting married next year and I am a bridesmaid along with my daughter who is a junior bridesmaid and my other daughter is the flower girl.
“So all of the adults are in a Facebook text chain and we’re trying to figure out the party and everything and I’m hoping that you guys can help.
“Every wedding I’ve been in or my daughter has been in the adult bridesmaids paid for the bridal shower. This included decorations, food, venue, cake, favors, games. Never once have I ever heard of a child or parent of a child being financially responsible for that. I’ve always seen it where it’s split between the adult bridesmaids.
“Am I wrong for thinking this? Maid of honor and I just got into a heated debate over this for over an hour.
“I don’t feel that the two young girls or their parents should have to worry about paying for their share of the party.
“The cost that the maid of honor is talking about is about $600 per bridesmaid. So that means now I would have to pay $1,200 for a shower. Am I wrong for thinking that the eight adult bridesmaids should be paying for this shower and not including the kids?”
She added: “It is also understood that the junior bridesmaids would have to help chip in for the bachelor and bachelorette party as well. You’re all going to Atlantic City for the weekend and the bridal party has to pay for travel costs and staying there in the hotels and all the food and booze for the whole weekend.”
More than 500 people commented on the Reddit post, with many outraged by the cost of the party and agreeing a child should not have to pay, with some branding the request “inappropriate”.
One person said: “NTA. How is a bridal shower going to cost $6000? And then a Bachelorette party as well? There needs to be limits put on this now. Even $600 a person is too much.”
Another replied: “That is ridiculous!”
A third added: “First off this is insane! Who spends that much money on showers and bachelorette parties. And no, the children don’t have to pay their share. Pretty sure they won’t be chugging the mimosas and whooping it up on the weekend away.”
The mum later updated her post to say she’d since spoken to her brother and future sister-in-law about the ordeal.
She says the couple were shocked to learn how extravagant the party planning had gotten.
“My brother and SIL had no idea this party was being planned so extravagantly. Neither one of them want a shower that is going to cost this much,” she added.
“They both said they were going to talk to the MOH and tone her back a little.
“SIL is actually very angry as she knows her sister wouldn’t be able to afford that either.”